I memorized your smile
so I can find it every
time I close my eyes to dream.
The wrinkle of lip,
scar of dimple, crack of tooth.
They are with me still.
I memorized the angle of cheekbone,
every cut of skin stretched,
the soft roll of forehead.
I counted each crease embedded.
Every freckle and discoloration,
the squint of eyes and the way
they shine my reflection.
I know these parts in your absence.
I conjure them still
on the nights when my desire
to be a good woman is broken
by the solitude of my cavity;
on nights when I close my eyes,
and let you enter my mind.
Little girls are not supposed to fall in love
with little girls and despite self taught ambivalence,
your memory lingers. I find myself a scratch
on record, set to repeat. to repeat. to repeat. to repeat.
“Memory” is previously published in #TrueStory 2015.
I know better than to wear mascara
to a funeral. I have no shame in
the tears rolling down my cheeks.
My chin remains level, eyes wide.
I brush streaks aside with open palm,
the flat of thumb. I don’t need
the comfort of cloth. I am soured by
the eyes of the saints. They hang from
wood and window trying not to show
us their wounds, yet the blood drips from
crosses over our heads. I am no longer
“The Funeral” is previously published in To Anyone Who Has Loved a Writer (2014).
you are mine
you are the silver
on my fingers
the sweat along
you are mine
a confidence I don’t
have to share
I have no
there is just
who I am
“Mine” is previously published in Rabbits for Luck (2016).
the moons I manipulated
will cease to swing
and shatter to earth
I will settle
softly upon the bottom
layer of soil,
a place where
weeds and mildew
I will rot under the leaves
and weakened bones,
it all decays
in the absence of light
there are no gods
there is only a fallen leaf
catching the wind,
we all die
“When the Time Comes” is previously published in the collection, my verse, published by Swimming with Elephants Publications, LLC in 2012.
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